Five Month Anatomy Scan + Biopsy For Breast Cancer

The last thing that you want to hear from your OB at 5 months pregnant is "It might be cancer or it might be nothing. Let's send you to the radiologist." 

And that about sums up the last week and a half of our lives.
Backtrack to about three weeks ago to a night like any other night,  I sat on the couch marveling at my newly found boobies (which were my first symptom of pregnancy and what prompted me to take a test in the first place) when I felt something. A small node, the size of a lentil sat embedded in my right breast.
For a few days I didn't say anything to anyone. I thought that it was probably my imagination and a normal part of the changes that accompany pregnancy. I did a bit of Googling and diagnosed myself with a possible blocked milk duct. But if I was being totally honest with myself, did I really even know where milk ducts were located? How deep in the breast did they reside? Could they even get blocked this early on? I couldn't really tell from the anatomy pictures and info that came up in my search. 

A few days passed and I could still feel the node. Because of the history of breast cancer in my family, I didn't want to alarm anyone if it was nothing. But I was also to the point where I was growing more concerned by the day. So I asked John to take a look, and yup, he could definitely feel the lump. Damn. It wasn't all in my head.

We decided to bring it up with my OB at our upcoming 18 week anatomy scan. The scan went perfectly. Baby had two arms, two legs, a developing brain, all the chambers of the heart, and the spine looked good. Afterwards we met with the doctor and he asked if we had any additional questions. So I took a deep breath and told him about the lump that I found. 

Let me stop here and say how I saw this appointment playing out in my head: I thought that the doctor would do a breast exam and tell me that it was absolutely nothing and that it was just a normal part of pregnancy. Or even better, I thought that he would tell me that he couldn't even feel the lump.

This is what really happened: The doctor did a breast exam and felt the lump right away. He then asked about the history of breast cancer in my family and because of all of those factors, he immediately referred me to a breast cancer radiologist. He said it may be nothing. Or it may be something, and he didn't want us to miss anything.

So we left that appointment elated that our baby was healthy, but overwhelmed with the fact that I would have to get worked up for possible breast cancer. After everything that we've been through in the last year, this was NOT what we wanted to be thinking about. We wanted to be happy and celebratory about our baby, not worried about possible cancer. 

It took about five days for the radiology referral to go through and for my appointment to be scheduled. Coincidentally, my mom had planned to visit me last week while John was traveling out of the country for work. So our week of shopping for nursery items turned into a week of shopping for nursery items and also going back and forth to the hospital for breast scans and a biopsy. Good times. 

Walking into that biopsy appointment at the cancer center with my pregnant belly was one of the most emotionally wrecking things I've ever gone through. It just all felt wrong. The hospital staff was so kind and accommodating. But being congratulated on your pregnancy and then told to lay down so the radiologist could numb you with a long thick needle and cut out samples of a lump inside your breast was just surreal. 

Because my biopsy appointment was on a Friday, the results took a few days to come back. 

But finally, I received a phone call this morning with good news: My test results came back negative.

The lump was something called Psuedoangiomatous stromal hyperplasia (PASH), a benign mass that can mimic cancer.

Thank God Thank God Thank God. I am so incredibly relieved and so incredibly grateful that we know it's benign and nothing to worry about.

So why am I sharing this? Because I want anyone reading this to be aware of this condition. I want to encourage you to perform self breast exams (even during pregnancy!) and to speak to your doctor if you feel anything different in your breasts. As my doctor and radiologist said, this could have been something. And from everything that I've read, finding lumps during pregnancy is even more concerning because the high levels of hormones could possibly help cancerous cells proliferate even faster. The sooner you know, the sooner you can take action.

MAKING LEMONADE [THE STORY BEHIND HELLO GORGEOUS BOUTIQUE]

Have you ever had so much to tell someone that you don't even really know where to begin? 

When so much has happened that you can't even figure out when the beginning was?

About a year ago, the company that John works for here in Southwest Michigan acquired a company in Charlotte, North Carolina. He was offered a position on the transition team, which he accepted, and has since been traveling back and forth to Charlotte every other week. A few months later, his proverbial hat was thrown in the ring for a position in Charlotte. 

Because we are both analytical people, we made list after list of pros and cons. The first list looked something like this: Pros- No more traveling and a great position. Cons- Moving away from our community, our friends, our family. Having to sell our house (which we adore). Giving up the job that I was happy and comfortable with and looking for new work. Starting from scratch in a city where we don't know anybody. Moving to a warmer climate (We both like snow. Go figure.), and so on. 

Shortly after the offer was brought up, I found out that I was pregnant. Given our pros and cons list and the fact that we were now expecting, we decided to forget about the whole thing and keep on living life they way it was. We were perfectly content. 

Then everything changed. I got into a terrible car accident. Two weeks later, I miscarried and lost our first child. We were devastated. (Still are.) I quit blogging, only to come back to it after a couple of months when I realized that I missed it. Some time passed and our spirits improved. Then right around my birthday, when we thought everything was getting back on track, I came home to find John waiting for me with a somber face and a glass of wine. Weird. Something was off and I knew it. 

He asked me to sit down and I did. Then he began to tell me that one of the closest women in my life was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was in shock. I sat on the couch, frozen, for twenty minutes. What does this mean? Would she be okay? Was she going to lose her breasts? Was she going to live? What stage was it? Why was everything falling apart for us and everyone around us??

It turned out that the cancer was found early. She had a lumpectomy and is now on the road to recovery, thank God. But those few months of loss and heartbreak did something to John and I. We grew closer and stronger. But we also began questioning why we were so afraid of taking the North Carolina offer. If life could be snatched from us at any given time, why weren't we living it to the fullest and experiencing everything that it had to offer?

And so we began to re-write our pros and cons list, each time adding on more possibilities under pros. We began dreaming of how fun it would be to spread our wings and live somewhere different, make new friends, and open our life to other possibilities and opportunities. 

Then one night after a long dinner, I hesitantly asked John what he thought about me following through with the big dream of mine that I had always kept on the back burner-- the dream of opening my own affordable online accessory boutique. The dream that I had first brought up years earlier, but kept on the back burner because there was no way that I could realistically open a business while holding onto my daytime job. And you know what he said? He said "Yes, do it. Absolutely. This makes perfect sense." 

The next morning, we decided to go forward with the North Carolina offer, and I began to work toward making my dream into a reality. I used every spare second that I wasn't at work to research, study, and wrap my head around what it would take to open a small business. At nights I would stay up until 3 a.m. figuring out how to code the website and then get up at 6 a.m. to go to work. I was exhausted, but so incredibly motivated and excited that I could barely sleep.  

To be honest, I don't think I fully realized how much work it would take to get the boutique off the ground. There were licenses to register for, legal papers to decipher, products to shop for and price, a business model to build, and a website to design. Then there was the marketing plan and figuring out the name and social media structure, website photos to shoot, and so much more.

All of that brings us to today, dear friends. John and I are set to move to Charlotte, North Carolina, and I could not be more proud to introduce you to my dream, actualized: Hello Gorgeous Boutique.

I hope that you feel the love and excitement that went into creating the boutique. I truly hope that you fall in love with every piece, and that each time you wear a necklace, bracelet, earrings, or other accessory from the boutique, you feel even more gorgeous and confident than you already are. 

A week or so ago, I tearfully left my epidemiology job and sweet co-workers to focus on launching the boutique and selling our home in Michigan. John will continue to travel until the new year when we officially relocate to Charlotte. Once we move, I will be running the boutique full time from a co-working office (so don't worry, I will still be posting office-friendly looks on the blog!), blogging, and taking on epidemiology and data analysis work as a consultant. 

To say that this is a huge change for us is an understatement. But you guys, I am so proud of us. We are taking life by the horns, letting go of our fears, and fulfilling our dreams. Because if not now, when?

I can't finish this post without giving a million thanks to John, our wonderfully supportive friends and family, and of course each one of you. Because without you, none of this would be possible. 

You can shop Hello Gorgeous Boutique HERE //

You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

.....

If you are interested in hearing more about the boutique and some personal style pointers, check out the interview I just did with Tesi and Leslie from Mama Bear Dares-- where we talk fall fashion, how to wear ankle boots, and figuring out how to pull off that look that you've been wanting to try. 

You can listen to the podcast directly HERE 

or by subscribing to the Mama Bear Dares podcast on iTunes

And make sure you follow them on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. 

They are seriously amazing and their podcasts will change your day (if not your life)!

A Striped top, Green skirt, and Some Soul-Baring.

As a perpetual over-thinker, I've spent the past week wondering how to appropriately address my decision to return to blogging. A million questions have been spinning around my head. 

Should I make a blog post about my reasons for coming back?
Should I explain what I missed about the blog and feeling connected?

Should I just get back to blogging as if nothing happened? 

Should I be embarrassed that I looked indecisive? Am I being judged for it?
Was the blog ruined? Could I even go back?

And as with a lot of things in life, I have come to a very prolific conclusion...I don't know the answer to all of those questions. But I will try to explain a little bit about what I did realize:

After agonizing for months and then finally making the decision to stop blogging, it felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. Not having the blog to work on, I had free time again. I began reading for fun. I watched an entire Spanish telenovela on Netflix and my Spanish improved somewhat (Gran Hotel, for anyone interested). I stayed off social media on some days and it felt great. I didn't take photos of myself and my outfits and it was freeing. I didn't care as much about what I wore and what I looked like and I felt empowered. 

But then something unexpected happened: the novelty of all of the above eventually wore off. I couldn't believe it. I was so sure that I had made the right decision, and now my favorite hobby and something that had helped define me was gone, of my own doing.
I missed spending time planning outfits, styling, and thinking of designs, patterns, and fit. I missed connecting on social media. I missed discussing great finds. But most of all, I realized that much of the time I thought I was going to save NOT blogging was being spent wishing that I had the blog up and running again... because I missed you, I missed feeling connected, sharing, and poignantly, I missed having fashion and style in my life.
So once again the soul-searching commenced.
Clearly, I do a lot of soul-searching, you guys. ;)

And what I found after Soul Searching Round Two is that yes, I have changed. But my blog is still a part of who I am and what I want to continue doing. I will say, however, that my gut instinct was correct in that I needed change. Maybe I just needed a break. Maybe the blog didn't feel like me because I didn't post much about anything except outfit photos. Maybe I needed to use my own voice a bit more (like I do on Instagram). Maybe I could give the blog a small facelift. Maybe I could expand my posts to include Q&A sessions and other types of posts.
The point is, there are so many possibilities!

I hope you continue to join me in my journey, friends.
And if you're just here for the outfit pics, that's okay too. :)

Striped top- gifted | Similar 1, 2, 3 | My fave
Green pencil skirt- The Limited | Similar 1, 2 (Plus!) | Love this one
White blazer- H&M | Similar 1, 2, 3, 4
Black flats with gold chain- Target | Nearly identical | Love these gold-accented ones 1, 2, 3
Pearl necklace c/o Blossom Jewelry Design
White & rose gold watch c/o Wristology (exact) | Use code GORGEOUS20 for 20% off
Pyramid Cuff c/o Erika Lehman for Stella & Dot | Similar



Shop The Look:

_________________________________

Follow along on:

 Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Twitter

:)

Nearly three months have passed--

and I still think about you guys and the blog every.single.day.

I've given myself room to breath and spent time soul searching and exploring; 

yet the truth remains that I miss it, I miss YOU. 

For those following me on Instagram, this is not new news, as I announced it last week. 

But I figured I should make an official blog post about it too. :)

Stay tuned, beautiful friends!

Sending you so much love and light. <3

_________________________________

Follow along on:

 Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Twitter

Healing.



pic

First off, I want to thank each and every one of you who reached out to me in the last few weeks, gave me love, shared stories of loss, or simply asked me if I was doing okay. You have no idea how much your support has meant to me. You brought light into my life when I needed it the most.❤️

To answer your questions: I'm okay! I'm doing much better than I was a few weeks ago. 

(For those who don't know: I suffered a miscarriage followed by a D&C. I didn't post about it on here. But I briefly talked about it on my Instagram account.) Thankfully, I've been very busy at work. Which I'm grateful for because it has helped keep my mind off things. And not entirely intentionally, I ended up taking a few weeks off my blog and IG. Without making it sound overly dramatic, every small step that I've taken has felt like a victory. The first two weeks after my MC my only goal was to get out of bed every morning and go to work. That's it. I was incredibly sad and overwhelmed with everything. So, facing the world every day even though I felt like a zombie inside seemed like a gargantuan task. The fluctuating hormones definitely didn't help either.

I spent those first couple of weeks as a useless lump on the couch, completely enveloped in grief. John, my husband, went into superhero mode and somehow kept life chugging along for the both of us. I truly believe that if it wasn't for him, our families, our incredibly thoughtful friends and neighbors, and my understanding boss and co-workers, I would probably still be in that place.  

The last couple of weeks have been better and I have felt like I've been getting closer to a version of me that existed before all of this. I haven't really done anything more than going to work and running a few errands here and there. But I am able to feel happiness again. I am laughing again. I've stopped crying every time I think about it. This week I even got back to my normal gym routine, which was a huge step for me. I missed all my friends and missed feeling strong.

Time, love, and being given the space to just BE has tremendously helped. Four weeks ago I truly thought that I would never feel normal again. But every day I feel more and more like myself. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm grateful for where I am today compared to then. John and I are even planning a trip to get away from it all for a few days. And after feeling like the bottom completely fell out from under us, it's nice to be able to look forward to something happy and tangible in the near future.

So, thank you thank you thank you for all of your love and positive energy. And thank you for hanging around here even though posting has been sparse. I have a number of things planned for the blog.

So there's lots to look forward to!

Wishing you infinite amounts of happiness

Love,

Yasi

Here's the story.

Today is the definition of a lazy Sunday for me.  They don't come around often.  But, when they do, I try to take complete and full advantage!  (I literally did not get out of bed until 11 am this morning--It was incredible.)

And sometimes, on days like this, I find myself getting introspective.  I pour myself a cup of tea and think about life, work, love, direction, improvement, things I want to do, things I should do, all the dishes I should wash.

And that brings me to how I started this blog and what it's turned into.  The conception of this blog came the year after I finished graduate school; during the time when I was desperately seeking full-time work.  You see, the field that I studied is very specialized and my specific job is somewhat hard to come by.  So, I spent my days applying for any job I could find, just to get myself out there.  When I wasn't filling out my umpteenth application of the day, I decided that I would become the perfect homemaker.  I broke out all of the recipe books that we'd gotten as wedding gifts and attempted to bake and cook my way through my jobless misery.  (I also gained 10 pounds, courtesy of 'I'm sad that I don't have a job, so yes I will have one more cookie!')  During this time I also briefly considered joining a choir, becoming a make-up artist, and turning into a full-time Cat Lady (much to my husband's chagrin).  But, one day it dawned on me: anyone who knows me knows that I love taking pictures and I love fashion.  The obvious thing to do was to create a blog that captures all of those things!  I could dream up a fun look, get dressed up, do a photo shoot, edit the pics, and post them on my blog--and so, "Hello, Gorgeous!" was born.  My little blog gave me a certain satisfaction that I wasn't getting anywhere else.  It was amazing.

Then came the day when I actually landed a job.  And not just any job, but THE job that I had been searching for, right in my field!  The only downside of it was that I had to commute almost an hour each way.  After a tiny bit of contemplation, I decided to go for it, and here we are today.  
I am proud to say that although it's a little challenging at times, I have been able to keep up with my work, life, and still maintain my little blog.  However, my blog has really evolved from what it was when I first created it.  Sometimes, when I'm feeling a little negative, I think that it has de-evolved.  I don't post every day--at most, I find time to post a few times a week.  And I don't often have time to take the lovely photos that I see on so many of my favorite blogs (but, I did this weekend.  So, YAY!).  BUT, I do post what I actually wear to my job every.single.day.  And I am very adamant about staying within a very real-world budget.  Most importantly, I take pride in shopping at "normal" places and putting together outfits that any woman can wear in real life and not be looked at like she has four heads.  I love high fashion, but, how many of us can really spend $400 on a sequin sweater and wear that to work?!  

[Side note: One of my personal goals when I first began my career was that I work hard and that I try to look my best while doing it-- and to show, through my blog, that dressing fashionably at work is possible for everyone.]

So, my darlings, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I may not always be able to take pretty photos of the outfits I'm wearing and make daily posts.  But, I promise to do my best to stick to the personal goal that I mentioned earlier and to be true to myself and to all of you.  I am eternally inspired and humbled by all of you, and I hope that this little blog always interests you in some way and keeps you coming back.  

______________________

Outfit details:

Black sweater | Exact here; similar here, here, here

Dark-wash skinny jeans | Exact here; similar here, here, here

Ivory tweed jacket | Exact old; similar here & here; not tweed but cute here; grey tweed jacket here
Faux fur collar | Exact old; similar here, here, here, here

Riding boots | Exact old; similar here, here, here, here

Watch c/o Wristology Watches  | Exact here

Stella & Dot Renegade bracelet c/o Erika Lehman

Tortoise bracelet c/o Sira & Mara | Exact here

Earrings c/o T+J Designs | Exact here

Q&A session-- I mustache you a question!

via

Hello, Gorgeous(es)!  

After an amazing vacation in LA to celebrate my brother's engagement I'm back at it and ready to do some exciting things on the blog!  And what better way to start things off than with a fun Q&A session?  So, without further ado, here we go!

1.  _kikis_ from IG was curious about what mascara I use.

I use L'Oreal Voluminous Mascara in Blackest Black.  I've tried every mascara under the sun and have always come back to this one.  Its brush has just the right number of bristles and it just WORKS.  You know what I mean?  This baby's a keeper!  Also, I "build" my mascara by applying ~3 coats, but allowing each coat to dry for a minute or two.

via

2.  nlouzon97 from IG wanted to know what moisturizer and foundation I apply.

Every morning before I put on my makeup I apply Clinique's All About Eyes cream under my eyes and Neutrogena Healthy Defense SPF 50 Moisturizer all over my face .  I try hard to take good care of my skin because I want to avoid having to pay for it later.  This sunscreen is great because it's not greasy at all.  And I know most moisturizers say that.  But, this one is really true to its word.  

As for foundation, I don't use any.  I have never been a huge fan of foundation because it just feels too heavy to me and unless I'm having really bad skin issues (I have/had acne for many years and control it with the help of my trusted dermatologist) I prefer to go without.  Instead, I just dab a little bit of MAC Studio Finish Concealer (in NC35) under my eyes and powder my face with MAC Pressed Blot Powder (Medium in the Winter and Medium-Dark in the Summer).  This blotting powder has been life changing.  Probably my #1 favorite beauty product. I have skin that tends to get oily and this blotting powder can be used several times a day without making your face look cakey.  I highly, highly, recommend it! 

via

3.  snowwegian from IG asked if I plan my daily outfits in advance.

This totally depends on my mood.  As if you couldn't tell already, coming up with different looks is very exciting for me. It sounds a little corny, but, I'm really passionate about approachable fashion!  Coming up with an outfit is like art to me and so I go with where my inspiration takes me.  Some mornings I will stand in front of my closet and be able to immediately pull something together.  However, I think about outfits ALL THE TIME.  Embarrassing confessions, anyone?  And when I come up with cute looks or ideas, I make a note of it in my phone and refer to it later.  That being said, I know my closet like the back of my hand so I can literally see all my pieces in the back of my brain at all times.  Kind of like Cher in Clueless.  But, not as ditzy.  As if!

via

4.  Sarah B. from FB asked for some pointers on building a more complete wardrobe and how/where to start. 
This question is probably the #1 question that I get asked.  Building a wardrobe is difficult with the massive amount of choices that we have.  My best piece of advice is to shop for really great basics and use bold accessories to make them more fun and versatile.  And by basics, I mean really classic pieces that can transition across seasons and last you years.  This doesn't mean they have to be expensive.  Just make sure you're buying pieces that fit well.  And if they don't, find a good tailor.  (I tailor 60% of my skirts/dresses.)  Also, when first starting a good wardrobe, stick to neutral colors that you can play with.  I have a lot of black/khaki/navy/white in my wardrobe--I have found that they create endless possibilities for easy mix and matching.  For more pointers check out this post on 50 wardrobe classics. 

via

5.  Kristen H. from FB wanted some ideas for quick and cute styles for college students. 

Ahhh the good old days of college and going to class in sweatpants... yes, yours truly did that!

College style can be challenging because you may not be in the workforce yet, and you want to look mature but fun at the same time.  My favorite looks for college students are classic pieces that can be mixed and matched (BIG surprise!).  Lets be honest- most of us are not loaded during our college years and we'd rather spend our money on things like Friday night drinks.  I mean, TUITION.  WE WANT TO SAVE MONEY FOR TUITION.  Ehem. 

Dark washed skinnies can be easily dressed up or down.  And cute flats are great for hurrying across campus wearing something other than tennis shoes.  Unless you're wearing UGGS.  In which case you get a free pass.  I love my UGGS.  

Also, embrace real tops.  And by 'real tops' I mean blouses and shirts that have a chic shape.  Tank tops are cute.  But, I wish I would have graduated to blouses way sooner than I actually did.  Finally, accessorize!  You can find cheap, but chic, jewelry anywhere now.  Take advantage of it and find some killer pieces.

via

Well, that was fun!  Thank you all for submitting your questions!  

I know I didn't get to some of them.  So, I will do a follow-up post with more Q&As!

blossom time!

Life has been super busy lately (as always, amirite?!) and I just got back from a long all-day work conference.  So instead of attempting to write anything coherent, let me just share a picture that hubs and I took for a Pinterest project that I'm working on.  (I can't wait to share it with y'all this Summer!)  

_____________________________________________________

And of course I'm going to share what I've been wearing, lately! :)

F21 top, NY&CO pants (in navy), shoes via DSW, bag bought in Florence, Italy

F21 top, NY&CO pants (in navy), shoes via DSW, bag bought in Florence, Italy

F21 Boxy Polka Dot Shirt (in cream/black), LOFT Doubleface Shift Skirt (in buttercup), Jessica Simpson pumps, F21 pearl necklace 

F21 Boxy Polka Dot Shirt (in cream/black), LOFT Doubleface Shift Skirt (in buttercup), Jessica Simpson pumps, F21 pearl necklace

Express top, F21 skirt and belt, Target Mossimo Pearce Pumps (in camel), necklace designed and made by my Mom

Express top, F21 skirt and belt, Target Mossimo Pearce Pumps (in camel), necklace designed and made by my Mom

F21 striped dress, Lauren Conrad for Kohl's jacket, Target Mossimo Ona flats,  Renegade bracelet c/o Erika Lehman for Stella & Dot  

F21 striped dress, Lauren Conrad for Kohl's jacket, Target Mossimo Ona flats,  Renegade bracelet c/o Erika Lehman for Stella & Dot

F21 sweater/pencil skirt/necklace, Prabal Gurung for Target Pointy-Toe Pump (in black)  

F21 sweater/pencil skirt/necklace, Prabal Gurung for Target Pointy-Toe Pump (in black) 

Express button-up, Zara pencil skirt, F21 belt & necklace, bracelet designed and made by my mom (!), Target Mossimo Vivian Pointy Heel Leopard Pumps 

Express button-up, Zara pencil skirt, F21 belt & necklace, bracelet designed and made by my mom (!), Target Mossimo Vivian Pointy Heel Leopard Pumps